a lot

There has been much happening within the last few weeks. I've began to take lesson in bass guitar, something that I didn't think that I would ever have the courage to do, but love. I'm excited to practice my bass and hope that I can do very well with it.

My heart is changing too. In ways that are awesome, scary, and just full of hope. I know that from now on things are shifting and changing into what He wants, but at this point I don't know what that is. Lol Its fun to be on the journey to find out. i don't have deep things to say or do crazy things for attention. I just want to be me, and live. But why does that seem the most challenging?

Dates...

Its funny how certain days that at one time had no meaning suddenly hold so many things. The promise of the future, of love and faith. Wide-eyed things that should have been the warning signs, but with the rose colored shades on. and then the promise fades and what were once good intentions are now tears and thoughts of what it could have been. July 10. An anniversary of the past. For me there was so much that was in that day. So much that was so special. I loved the family, the friends, and my husband. Now ex…To think that forever I will remember that day for what it could have been, hurts. The healing has begun, and it has been wonderful. He has been with me every step of the way, but now I’m realizing that the future still holds promise.

I can still love again. I have learned through the lows that I can still love through it. Love has taken on another meaning for me. It’s deeper, more spiritual, and it holds so many other things instead of those overused words for other things. Love does hurt, there is pain there, but it still has the power to make you soar. There can be tears of joy and of peace with love. Even tears of remorse and regret. Love is so much more powerful than I ever thought. To know there are so many that truly love me it’s breathtaking, and provides such a salve to the wound that will inevitably scar. I know it will always remain, but I can carry it encased in a seal of love…

Hm..

Even though we forget the little things it continues to mystify me that God would remember all of them. The reasons that we have been shaped and made into the people that we are can start so far back in our childhood that we forget it was that one fateful day that made you realize that people you loved didn't live forever, or not all Kool-Aid was the same...But seriously, He never forgets, and yet when we come to Him and give it all, the bad and the ugly He does...Because He wants the best for us even if we don't even know it. Or want it at the time.

So much has been on my mind as of late. Things that I'm realizing I want to and need to change. But fear has held be bound for too long...And to even think without it is crippling. But I know its time to reclaim my life. The things that I know are destined for me. I want my passion back. And I think I'm ready to fight for it...

R&R

Wow I needed this school break so much. The idea of being able to come home and do nothing but read or write is amazing. I wish it could always be like this. Lol. Oh well. Right now I'm working on a story that had been swirling in my mind for a few years. Its been awesome to work on it, and finally get into the characters. I'm still uncomfortable about sharing with people that I write and I'm still trying to figure out why. I don't think there is anything wrong with being creative in a bunch of avenues. I love art don't get me wrong, but the idea of writing and creating music even, completes apart of my creative pie I didn't know was missing. I love it...Maybe one day I'll get the courage to post something. The poetry will get here before the story though. Just a heads up.

Sweet blessings of love and grace,
T

Listening to the Opposite playlist and wishing I added some Fleetwood Mac to it.

Hello! ^_^

Hee, I guess I'm talking to myself for now. I have been fascinated by getting a blog, but I'm so bad at updating that I don't even know if this is going to work. But over the last few weeks, I've been wanting to get some things said, and hopefully this is where I'll be able to speak about them. I'm going to try and be diligent about posting something every other day or so. Hopefully.

Ramblings of a butterfly just realizing she had wings to fly. God is teaching her how to use them.